Tag: gift shop

Percival Angstrom
We regret to announce the passing of Percival Angstrom KBE – Head of Signage at Glastonbury Tor. A familiar face to anyone who visited the National Trust gift shop at the base of Glastonbury Tor between 1977 and 2013 when he retired to spend more time on his private passions – he was a fearless bee keeper and keen amateur astronomer.
A staunch traditionalist, Percival was always friendly and cheerful to anyone wearing tweed.
Classic examples of Percival Angstrom’s early and later work, to be found around Glastonbury
In the early days Percival Angstrom rose quickly through the ranks of the Groundkeeping and Maintenance team at Glastonbury Tor. His early work placing Keep Off The Grass signs in innovative positions on the Tor earned him many awards from National Trust Head Office who quickly realised they had a formidable powerhouse on their hands. It was no surprise that his many promotions took him from the lowly position of Assistant Sign Placer to his final role as Head of Signage.
There were of course the brief fallow years that afflict the careers of all people who have an unusual and singular vision. Although he learned a great deal about crowd control as Associate Thistle On Antique Chair Positioner, he was happier working in the bracing outdoors at Glastonbury Tor, preferring the arctic conditions prevailing on the permanent icecap atop Glastonbury Tor.
One of the reasons he was such a familiar face was that Percival only took a single one-week holiday while working at Glastonbury Tor. In recognition of his work, in August 2003 he was awarded a prize for his contribution to the Glastonbury Board of Trade and Industry.
If you inspect the many Twinned With signs as you enter Glastonbury you will notice they feature Percival Angstrom’s signature.
January 9, 2013
Coppicing on north face of Glastonbury Tor may finally lay Forest Of The Ultrabeast myth to rest
It must be something to do with geological features in the United Kingdom that so many harbour ancient myths about terrifying creatures that lurk in darkness – take for example the Loch Ness Monster and the Wookey Hole Gerbil.
1755 postcard from Glastonbury perpetuating the myth of The Ultrabeast
Visitors to Glastonbury Tor have long avoided the northern slopes, covered in ancient woodland, and known locally as The Forest Of The Ultrabeast – a name censored for many years from the guidebooks provided by the Glastonbury Tourist Information Centre.
Folklore has it that since mediaeval times a dangerous creature much like Bigfoot (albeit with feet sized more appropriately for the local environment) has lurked in this deeply wooded area. It was only when electric street lighting was introduced in Glastonbury in the 1960′s that a night-time curfew was finally lifted. But mention of the Ultrabeast still strikes fear into nervous local residents.
We talked to Uther Henge, the Chief Mystical Consultant for the National Trust stationed permanently at the gift shop at Glastonbury Tor who has been tasked with supervising the logging operation; “Coppicing is a traditional system of woodland management that takes advantage of the fact that many trees make new growth from the stump or roots if cut down. In a coppiced wood, young tree stems are repeatedly cut down to near ground level. What we hope is that by lowering the height of these ancient trees the Ultrabeast, if he exists, will be deprived of his natural cover. The other great benefit is that we’re now able to clear the way for the A361 bypass that will ease congestion in the middle of Glastonbury.”
August 14, 2012
Titania Bonham-Smythe on Radio 4 You & Yours
A palpable sense of excitement was buzzing in the air today as staff at the gift shop at Glastonbury Tor listened to You & Yours on Radio 4.
Chief Gatekeeper Titania Bonham-Smythe had sent an email regarding a recent unsuccessful book purchase on Amazon – known as Spamazon – and we are pleased to say that it was read out by Winifred Robinson:
You can listen to the full 41 minute You & Yours programme on the BBC website.
June 14, 2012
Wombles banned from Glastonbury Tor
Concern has been mounting over The Wombles’ forthcoming appearance at the 2011 Glastonbury Festival.
But it’s not just Michael Eavis worrying about the weird juxtaposition of Remember You’re A Womble blasting out to festival goers more atuned to Beyoncé and U2.
Following the recent EU warning issued to the French government about their flagrant disregard for wild Alsace hamsters, officials have defiantly stepped in to protect the wild hamsters that roam over Glastonbury Tor – known locally as Somerset Stranglers – they are banning supergroup The Wombles entry to this ancient mountain.
Uther Henge, the chief mystical consultant for the National Trust stationed permanently at their gift shop at Glastonbury Tor offered an explanation:
“The ecosystem on Glastonbury Tor is very delicate. For hundreds of years these delightful but vicious wild hamsters have made their burrows on Glastonbury Tor and it is important that we demonstrate to the European Union our active support of rare species. We really don’t want to get caught up in the French fiasco where they seem to show a heartless disregard for the Great Hamsters of Alsace.”
“Our worry is that The Wombles are renowned for their drug-fuelled rampages. While on stage they are the very image of sobriety and family-friendliness – but the moment they get off stage it’s a different story. Can you imagine what it would be like if they were allowed onto Glastonbury Tor in that state? It’s anyone’s guess what would happen if one of the many Somerset Stranglers, on their daily trek to forage for cotton wool, were to be confronted by a six foot tall wild-eyed rodent, high on drugs and hell-bent on litter-picking – the last thing we want is a pitched battle between Wombles and hamsters. It would be Mods and Rockers all over again.”
June 10, 2011
A day without signs on Glastonbury Tor
Visitors to Glastonbury Tor were disoriented today by the complete absence of hundreds of Keep Off The Grass and Keep Off The Path signs.
Dozens of workers had spent hours overnight removing the old signs in preparation for new multilingual signs that conform to EU regulations. The new signs became necessary when Glastonbury Tor was granted mountain status earlier this year as a result of growing to over 190 metres tall.
European regulations for health and safety on mountains are much more stringent, including the requirement that safety messages must be repeated in French, Swedish and Luxembourgish – the international language of mountaineers.
Fearing some kind of bureaucratic trick, early visitors milled around the nimbleness assessment area at the base of the tor, but as numbers grew some braver visitors started to tentatively attempt to climb the summit.
It was many hours before the first visitor arrived at St. Michael’s Tower, a fact that observers put down to the lack of signs indicating which way to walk. It wasn’t just new visitors who were confused – members of the Glastonbury Pilgrims Union were also unable to decide which way to walk to get to the summit, leading many to question whether their position at the top of the Pilgrims League is really as firm as had been believed.
Chief mystical consultant Uther Henge stationed permanently at the gift shop at Glastonbury Tor spoke on behalf of the National Trust; “We expect everything to be back to normal this week as we begin the major task of restoring the signage on Glastonbury Tor. With more than a thousand signs to go up this is obviously a major task so visitors should expect some disruption. But during this time we have several specially trained staff members on hand to help people find the summit. They will have plenty of copies of our leaflet Which Way Is Up?”
Many people have asked what will happen to the old single-language signs in the hope that they may be sold in the gift shop, but we understand that they are to be reassigned to non-mountainous National Trust properties.
May 31, 2011